How many times have you been down this devastating path…

In a state of absolute panic you find a new diet—the latest fad in a magazine, a juice cleanse your co-worker swears by, your neighbor’s go-to diet, whatever—and you think to yourself…

“OK, if I’m really determined, this time I’ll finally be able to do this! This time I’ll really buckle down, this time I’ll have a lot more willpower, and this time I'll get it right. I just have to be stronger… and better… and more disciplined... this time."

And full of gusto and determination (and a whole lot of self-loathing) you begin the diet. You start out strong. You eat the bland and boring foods (I'm so sick of steamed veggies)… you deprive yourself of your favorites (all I can think about is brownies and pasta)… and you force yourself to do exercises you despise (I hate, hate, hate this treadmill).

Sure, you lose some weight. But you’re full of fear. And you’re miserable and you’re exhausted.

Inevitably, your willpower fades. You crash, your eating spins out of control, and the weight creeps back on. Defeated and depressed you pretend like it’s no big deal, but deep down you have a sinking feeling that something is horribly, horribly wrong with you.

Please hear this: YOU are not broken.

The billion-dollar diet industry, on the other hand, most definitely is.

Here's the real reason diets don’t work...

Diets don’t help you understand WHY you overeat in the first place, so they don’t get to the root of the issue. Diets also don’t show you HOW to eat, or teach you how to form a healthy relationship with food and your body.

And without those critical (and I mean CRITICAL) missing pieces of the weight-loss puzzle, you’re going to struggle. The allure of dieting is everywhere, but diets—most of which only focus on WHAT to eat—not only create an obsessive relationship with food and throw your metabolism out of whack, they also set you up for failure and frustration.

Please let go of the idea that there is a perfect diet or cleanse that will finally solve your weight problems. Realize that the answer lies within you. You have the power to transform your relationship with food, your hunger, and yourself.

Here’s how...

MODIFY YOUR MINDSET

Don't start by changing what you eat; start by changing how you think. Do the inner work first.

First things first: Stop criticizing yourself...

Accept and love yourself exactly as you are, extra weight and all. You’re not giving up, you’re empowering yourself to feel good now, so that you can take positive actions towards your goals with confidence. Start now (yes, right now!) by forgiving yourself for the past. You did the best you could with the weight loss resources you had at that time, period. Release the past and begin again (go HERE for more on how to do this).

Next, start asking the hard questions...

What is the downside of losing the weight? For example, are you using weight as an excuse for failure? (“Because of my weight, I can’t be successful, I can’t get a boyfriend, I can’t be happy, etc. etc.”) Or does the weight make you feel safe or protected in some way? Are you terrified of being abused, abandoned or rejected once you’re thin? Once you understand your fears, you can gently work your way through them, and this will give you the psychological green light you need to lose the weight, for good (more on this HERE).

Finally, shift your shadow beliefs...

We all have a set of memorized behaviors, emotional reactions, beliefs, and attitudes that run behind the scenes. This subconscious program determines how we live and make decisions on a moment-to-moment basis. And when you have limiting beliefs that don’t support your health goals, you end up constantly sabotaging yourself. Shift your beliefs (more on this HERE) and you’ll fast track your success.

EAT ONLY FOODS YOU LOVE

If you’re thinking…

"But, Heather, I LOVE French fries, chocolate, burgers and pasta. How can I possibly eat those foods and still lose weight?"

Here’s the thing: You do not have to give up the foods you love to lose weight.

Try to stop seeing foods as "good" or "bad." If you eat only when you’re physically hungry (see below) and stop before you’re uncomfortably full (also see below), you can eat anything (yes, anything) you want... and still lose weight.

But you'll reach your ideal and healthy weight a lot faster, and you'll feel A LOT better, if you nourish yourself with whole and delicious REAL foods more often than not. Here's what I do...

Most of the time (maybe about 90% or so) I eat nutrient dense and clean foods I love. I shop at farmers' markets, I drink green smoothies, I cook Skinnytaste recipes, and I search out healthy foods everywhere I go. And the rest of the time, well, I eat whatever I want.

I also incorporate movement into my daily life, I eat mindfully and I stay in tune with my body...

TUNE INTO YOUR BODY

Remember when you were a kid and you instinctively knew when and how much to eat? It's 100% possible for you to find that kind of freedom with food again.

Your (perfect and beautifully designed) body instinctively knows exactly what it needs to thrive and naturally reach its ideal weight—you just have listen to it.

Think of your hunger as a scale...

Once you reach a 1, 2, or 3 on the scale (the Danger Zone), you’ll trigger your primal drive to overeat. And then you can forget about moderation, mindfulness, and conscious eating (not to mention weight loss). And H-ANGRY is never pretty!

As often as possible, eat in the Fuel Zone. Start eating at around a 4 or 5. Eat mindfully and stop when you get to a 6 or 7. Also, eat only foods you love (see above), and, as often as possible, eat REAL food, not food-like products that your body can’t process or identify.

Honoring your hunger and respecting your fullness will help you build trust with yourself and food. And it will help you reconnect with your body’s natural cues which, I'm guessing, have become pretty blurry from years of controlling and binging.

Remember, your body knows better than any expert (including me!) how much to eat, when to eat, and when it’s time to stop eating.

HONOR YOUR EMOTIONS

If you're reaching for food when you're at a 7 or above on the Hunger Scale (the Discover Zone), most likely you’re using food for emotional relief—to comfort, to reduce anxiety, or to reward. And it's no wonder...

Eating can be a seductive distraction that immediately soothes negative feelings. And certain foods (sugar and carbs, I'm looking at you!) trigger a release of feel-good chemicals in the brain.

But, as you know, the relief found in food is temporary. In fact, it lasts all of five seconds—then you go back to feeling sad or stressed... and now you also feel guilty, stuffed, and disgusted.

There's a big difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger...

The next time you feel the urge to eat, pause and ask yourself, “Am I really hungry?” You're not determining if you are in fact allowed to eat... you're raising your awareness around WHY you want to.

By answering this one simple question you’ll empower yourself to make a conscious eating choice. And that is a very big deal! Make this an everyday habit, and you’ll not only drastically cut back on mindless and superfluous eating, you’ll also start to unravel your emotional connections to food. Because if your food craving doesn’t come from physical hunger, then you can be sure that eating is definitely not going to satisfy it. (For more help with emotional eating and understanding your emotions, go HERE.)

With love,
Heather